I went out for a run after work one day. When I got back to school someone said to me, “Why do YOU run?” I am small, 5’1″ on a good day and most people would say I am thin. I am a conscientious eater (almost vegan) and I exercise. I try to ride my bike, run, walk, or work out at least 3 or 4 days a week. I like to feel strong and look strong. I told my friend that it had been a difficult day so I was running to get away. She laughed… Somehow, To her, I didn’t need to run…. I do
Because over the last 10 months things in my life have changed a bit and I have a new feeling whenever I go out for a ride or a run. I have the feelings of gratitude, power, strength and hope.
I started trying to be more healthy and fit about 5 or 6 years ago. I exercised with friends after work and logged my food. I got really strong and lost a little weight. I was highly motivated to lose the thighs that were my family inheritance. I did and I was slightly obsessed with exercise. I felt strong and good and I was very happy with my new thighs.
Last New Years Eve things changed. When thinking about a resolution I decided that I didn’t want to be obsessed any more…. I just wanted to feel good and be healthy. I also wanted to be an inspiration. I like to encourage people when I am running or riding. I wave, smile, say ‘hi’, or tell people good job! Maybe I’m annoying, I hope not.
Then my friend got sick. A close friend, someone I have known for over 20 years is now fighting for her life. She was one of the healthiest and strongest people you would ever see. She did boot camp, ate all organic, once we rode our bikes 60 miles, she danced, swam… You name it and she could do it. She was full of passion, a fighter and she still is. It was at her house that I made those resolutions. After she got sick I decided life was too short to log your food and not eat dessert… My thighs grew back just a little and that is o.k. I am not as obsessed with exercise, I don’t log my food and if I want a second glass of wine I have it.
I do still run. But now part of why I run and ride is for her. I do it because she can’t right now. I do it because although we don’t know what the future will bring I want to be ready for the fight. I run so that maybe people will see me smiling and say, ‘Wow, I could do that, too’, and I run to feel the joy of being alive and healthy. I run because I can.